The clock in my car is right again... a victory for procrastination.
ZYuppi
Every McDonald's should have a flag they fly at half mast when the ice cream machine is broken.
Leprechauns are just Santa's elves who got fired from the workshop for drinking on the job.
Remember when the air at gas stations for your tires was free? Good times, good years.
Children are the greatest gift of all, but punch some holes in the box so they can breathe.
My New Year's resolution is to be more punctual.
Xyuppi
The ship stuck in the Suez Canal is blocking so much important stuff they've decided to rename it the USS Mitch McConnell.