I've always been a big supporter of gay marriage. I mean, who wants to go to a sad wedding?
An ad begs me to try "the toothbrush most dental professionals use" and I think, "That's gross; I'll buy my own."
If a girl's bra is called over-the-shoulder-boulder-holder, then what are a boy's boxers called? Under the butt-nut-hut?
Sometimes I go bow hunting with my uncle and when we find two good ones we put my hair in pigtails.
To do list: Buy CD of ice cream truck music. Drive down the street blasting it. Watch kids get disappointed.
Hate mopping? Get a dog and sprinkle parmesan cheese on your floors.
I'm an exceptional mother of 1. Too bad I have 3.