You've already put up your Christmas tree? That's nothing. I'm already drunk for St. Patrick's Day.
Weed is now legal in Canada. In other news, Taco Bell announces 697 new stores in Canada.
Xyuppi
The State Fair is hopefully the only place you see adults walking around with their newest stuffed animal.
Xyuppi
So many people are obsessed with vampires these days. Who needs vampires when a mortgage and a job are enough to suck the life out of you?
Young people will wait longer in a self-scan isle at the grocery store so they don’t have to deal with humans, but old people will wait longer in a regular lane so they don’t have to deal with computers.
We are very lucky that out of all the bodily functions that could have been contagious we got yawning.
Xyuppi
Every time I buy a pack of toilet paper it's money down the toilet.