Insightful Statuses

I guess knife throwing isn't one of those "learn by doing" kinda things. I might be going to jail guys.
Nothing says "Do not trust this local bank." like a man wearing a chicken suit in the commercial.
Like a good chef, I'd probably be one of those pharmacists who enjoy sampling their work. Y'know, to make sure it's good for the customer...
Nothing gets me closer to murder than pedestrians who are out pacing me while I sit in traffic.
I'd tell my boss to go screw himself but he would probably just delegate that to me also.
Sometimes I like to imagine the Grammar Police are real and they're chasing you with handcuffs and a fully-charged taser.
If Bilbo's parents had any sense of humor they would have named him Tea.
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