Funny Statuses

Women have a lot more experience dealing with bloodstains than men. Men are convicted of murder a lot more than women. Coincidence?
In fact, yes, l can multitask. I can screw up several things at once.
If I could move things by telekinesis I'd squeeze people's insides and make them fart.
#16974
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Xyuppi
I just decorated my bedroom to look like my desk at work so I can fall sleep faster.
Do you think they still give out chips in Gambler's Anonymous?
#17033
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Xyuppi
if Kaepernick and Tebow were signed as backups for the same team, i believe all our country’s problems would be solved.
#17094
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Xyuppi
I was going to cross the fence to see if the grass was greener on the other side. but all I learn was that the fence was electric.
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