The only difference between Mcdonald's and my work is Mcdonald's has only got one clown running the show..
Nothing like someone posting a 7th grade photo of you on Facebook to bruise your ego.
Cyberbilly
I had sex in a cemetery once. That's as close to death as I want to come.
Don't mistake my middle finger as an offer.
It's always good to feel appreciated. My little brother just called to thank me for "setting the bar so incredibly low for him."
The problem with chasing dreams is you have to wake up and get out of bed to catch them.
Timothy Smith
I got arrested for growing weed in my back yard, but I was framed. The evidence was planted.