Cris
I hate it when people ask me "Where do you see yourself in 5 years?". I mean, seriously, I do not have 2020 vision!
It took years for my wife to get me to put down the toilet seat. In retrospect, I really don't know why I was carrying it around in the first place...
Xyuppi
Woke up this morning and the alarm clock was laughing at me....then I realized it was upside down and the time was 7:07
I Love you more than Kanye loves Kanye.
Cyberbilly
I went to see the doctor today for my annual check-up. The good news is the he says I'm healthy as a horse. The bad news is he uses large farm animals to describe me.
My dog acts like their entire family was murdered by a vacuum cleaner.
Xyuppi
Why is it that the instant I buy new chap stick, the old one magically reappears?