Just came to the realization that with their ridiculous fees, I'm tipping my ATM more than my bartender.
It hurts when someone you love says mean things to you like, "It's time to wake up."
Some people need more than a beauty sleep. They need a beauty hibernation.
Every time I see a safety warning on a product I can't help think to myself how natural selection has failed us once again...
Watching CSPAN is a lot like watching security camera footage from Mens Warehouse.
Novell
Divorce is what happens when two people win an argument.
Cyberbilly
Sorry. I'm just now seeing your text from last night. Do you still need that EpiPen?