Funny Statuses

Running away *will* solve my problems. My weight problems.
If the restaurant serves chips and salsa, I am going to leave so full that I hate myself.
I can't sleep. I've been up for hours. I even tried reading LinkedIn.
I was going to buy a KitchenAid but saw that it had mixed reviews.
I like to think of bread as really bland cake.
I have two modes. Sleep is for the weak and sleeping for a week.
Do women who say they wear lingerie for themselves know about wearing sweatpants for yourself?
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