Novell
On the internet, you have a better chance of surviving The Oregon Trail than a trip to WebMD!
Since Brian Williams has his own version of the news, he should take over for Jon Stewart on "The Daily Show."
The only exercise I get is in futility.
Robert Zunick
The worst way to locate your glasses is by the sound they make when you step on them.
Novell
There should be an award for anyone who actually finishes a tube of chapstick.
Novell
The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.
My cheat day is tomorrow so I'm considering just going to bed now at 4pm