We are hosting a charity concert for people who struggle to reach orgasm. If you can't come, let me know.
Marriage Tip: When your wife says "Do things to surprise me" she doesn't mean fill her purse with salsa and chips.
Bears vs Giants would be freaking crazy if it was a Discovery channel show instead of an NFL game.
I'm 87% sure "snooze button" time is sped up and "waiting for the microwave" time is slowed down and this is not okay.
Cyberbilly
Men hang out in bars for one of two reasons: Either they have no wife to go home to, or they do.
My credit card company says I have an outstanding balance. I'm flattered.
Cyberbilly
Wouldn't it be cool if breast implants came with squeaky toys in them?