Do good masochists go to heaven, or hell?
My New Year's resolution is to help all my friends gain ten pounds so I look skinnier.
30 years later and my Cabbage Patch Kid still has no clue that he's adopted.
Something I have in common with Mariah Carey- I don't know the words to her songs either.
Xyuppi
Woke up this morning and the alarm clock was laughing at me....then I realized it was upside down and the time was 7:07
That's the last time I ask Jesus to bring the water for the AA meeting...
I bet genies were a real thing until one jerk wished for genies not to exist anymore.