Funny Statuses

Thanks to the words "dude", "bro", and "man", I haven't said my best friends name in 10 years.
I'm more confused than a valet parking attendant at a Mary Kay convention.
Running behind is my cardio.
I swear 90% of the contacts in my phone are useless.
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Cyberbilly
If violets were orange, poetry would be much more challenging.
Would you be a deer and run out in front of my car for me?
My new favorite hobby: Misinterpreting what my Mom says from another room on purpose.
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