Robert Ryder
I hate housework! You make the beds, you do the dishes and then six months later you have to do it all over again.
Robert Zunick
I wonder if Alex Trebek’s tombstone will say ‘Who was the host of Jeopardy?’
A garage sale is just a garbage sale where the "b" is silent.
Novell
How many calories are in 4 boxes of Girl Scout cookies? Asking for a friend.
If I was Miley Cyrus' grandma, I'd demand everyone refer to me as "Granna Montana".
I don’t have a problem with friends who ask to borrow money. I love a good laugh as much as the next guy.
I think my problem is that I have really fantastic bad ideas...