Funny Statuses

In heaven I bet they have a version of Duck Hunt that lets you to shoot that freaking dog.
I'm avoiding cliches like the plague with every fiber of my being.
You say kissing. Cannibals say taste testing.
Wondering how many of your followers are jerks? Just post something with a typo. That's like their mating call.
The next person that steals my identity can f'ing keep it.
I just laughed at the thought of a rapper owning a cat.
A bus is a vehicle that travels twice as fast when you are after it as when you are on it.
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