My microwave is awesome at heating up my plate and leaving my food frozen.
English teachers put more thought into novels than the authors do.
Dear Inventor of the Keyboard, Why did you make the "t" and the "g" so close together? I keep signing my letters "With Retards"
Broke a light bulb today. Seven years of bad ideas?
Dave Asten
Just painted a blue square in my yard to trick people viewing Google Earth into thinking I have a swimming pool!
What if Gangnam Style is actually just a giant rain dance, and we brought this hurricane on ourselves?
I wish more things in my life could be blamed on auto correct.