Funny Statuses

Relationships are like farts, you shouldn't force one that's not there or the end result could be crappy.
The Libyan leader is dead...the attempt on Doc Brown's life has finally been avenged.
I'm so pissed at my company's IT people. I just found out hot, local single women have been trying to email me and they've been intercepting them.
Just realized Siri only works on iPhone 4S. No idea who the lady I've been talking to is.
Halloween Tip: Before you say, "Great zombie costume!" make sure the person isn't just incredibly ugly.
"Scent" is the sense most tied to memory. "Common" is the sense least tied to people.
I nearly invested money in the Egyptian tourism industry. Until I realized it was just a pyramid scheme!
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