Funny Statuses

So far my Christmas shopping has involved buying myself presents, so I'd say it's been a success.

If I could get a firm grip on reality...I'd probably choke it.

I need professional help. A chef and a butler should do it.

Jingle all the way. Nobody likes a half-assed jingler.

I love work; it fascinates me. I can sit and watch folks do it for hours.

I named my car "flattery" because it gets me no where.

Relationship goals: a relationship