Cyberbilly
The Bachelor is the show that answers the question "How much wine do you have to drink until the guy making out with twenty different women seems like he'd make a good husband?"
Cyberbilly
I think all the women who don't get a rose on the Bachelor should at least get a cat as a consolation prize.
Xyuppi
This guy at the gym just did 3 sets of selfies.
Cyberbilly
Gray hair is the human body's equivalent of low toner.
Cyberbilly
Police Officer: "TURN AROUND" Me: *sings* "Every now and then I get a little bit lonely and you're never coming round…"
Xyuppi
I've been texting so much lately that I move my thumbs from side to side when I'm actually talking to someone.
Cyberbilly
I wish I was as skinny as I was the first time I thought I was fat.