Abbreviation is an unnecessarily long word.
Punctuality is a waste of time since no one is ever there to appreciate it.
My version of flirting is looking at someone attractive multiple times while hoping they are more brave than I am.
Amigo
To avoid conversations at work, always walk with purpose and a toilet plunger
It’s strange to think that the sound of nature is the sound of millions of animals desperately trying to get laid.
If I ran my legs as much as I did my mouth, I'd be in fantastic shape.
Amigo
Whoever left me in charge of my own destiny has a lot of explaining to do.