Funny Statuses

Preparing for the worst, keeping buckets handy & filling the bathtub w/ water so I can flush the toilet. What hurricane? Mexican for dinner.
I don't understand my kids...I bought them their own computer and internet access. And yet they spend free time outside. DNA testing soon.
A secret is what you tell everyone not to tell anyone else.
What's another word for synonym?
It adds a new level of intimidation to squirt gun wars when you put a laser sight on your Super Soaker.
Telling the entire country of Argentina not to cry for you seems a bit presumptuous.
Chewbacca is like an over-sized pekingese with an auto-tuner shoved in his throat.
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