Hearing anonymous callers talking about their regrets on national radio makes me feel a lot better about my life.
Every person has an opportunity to bring you joy. Some when you see them, some when they leave.
I'm thinking about bottling my own urine and selling it. I'll call it "I Can't Believe It's Not Bud Light."
Someone asked me "Who do you prefer, Chris Brown or Rihanna?" In hindsight, I shouldn't have replied, "Chris Brown beats Rihanna every time."
If you are thinking of having an affair, just remember the head of the CIA couldn't even get away with it.
Cyberbilly
I have never understood why women love cats. Cats are independent, they don't listen, they don't come in when you call, they like to stay out all night, and when they're home they like to be left alone and sleep. In other words, every quality that women hate in a man, they love in a cat.
Seems like you could save a lot of time if you just paired The Bachelor with The Bachelorette.