When you eat the entire frozen pizza by yourself, the slogan changes to “It’s not delivery, it’s depression.”
What if those people on Hoarders saw too many Pixar movies and are just scared to throw inanimate objects away?
Football is the only time you can feel manly while wearing spandex capri pants.
Pretty sure i could never defuse a bomb seeing as I can't even properly eject a USB device from my computer.
Cats make great pets, out of their owners...
If people actually became dinosaurs when they aged, no one would complain about getting older.
I miss the days in college when my alarm clock would be set in the P.M.