This Thanksgiving, I'll be roasting a pheasant stuffed with a duck that's been stuffed with mutton. I'll be serving a hot Phuckewe.
Teaching my kid how to spell. They're having a tough time, but I give them an "A" for Affort.
If the earth is the third planet from the sun, isn't every country a third world country?
Some days you just have to say "screw it, I'm busting out the cookie dough."
If you're not supposed to talk to strangers, how are you supposed to make friends?
There are a lot of special women in my life, but Betty Crocker takes the cake.
Colonel Sanders is your typical male. All he's concerned with is legs, breasts and thighs.