How is it that people like Hitler can find their soul mate, and I can't even find that last bag of potato chips in the cabinet?
"Don’t make me regret this." -things I think when accepting a friend request.
Just once I want my skills to be so urgently required that a helicopter is dispatched to pick me up.
Just watched the new Star war trailer. My father has it, I have it, my sister has it and you have it too. To me it sounds more like a herpes commercial.
I can't afford to go on a vacation, so I'm just going to drink until I don't know where I am.
Novell
Cell phones should have an extra 'End Call' button that sounds like a handset being slammed down into the telephone cradle so the person on the other end of the line knows it is SO OVER.
Recipes are like dating profiles. They never look like the picture...