Funny Statuses

I want to live in a world where the Food Network delivers.

Sometimes, the first step to forgiveness is understanding that the other person is an idiot.

Who needs rhetorical questions?

I finally found a diet plan that works. It’s called “The cost of food”.

It’s hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs… because they always take things literally

I finally met a woman my mother likes. She acts like my mother , talks like her, and even has similar looks. My father doesn't like her.

People who think I’m not a religious person should see me when the airplane starts to shake.