Robert Zunick
A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.
Amigo
Eating 4 cans of alphabet soup will give you a giant vowel movement.
I only eat the entire pint of ice cream in one sitting so that I won't be tempted to eat it later.
Listen Apple, unless this so-called "genius" is making me a drink, don't tell me to wait at the bar.
My wife must be a history buff because she just loves bringing up old crap.
Amigo
Just when you start to feel like you’re #1, God throws a blue turtle shell.
Cyberbilly
Boomerangs can be quite dangerous if you've got ADHD.