I get in trouble because there are only two kinds of secrets, those that aren't worth keeping and those that are too good to keep.
Wanna hear a joke about a pencil? Nevermind, its pointless.
As an alternative to dieting, I'm going to simply refer to myself as "value-sized".
Buy a chameleon. Put it on a mirror. See what color it turns.
Are we listening to Dubstep or is this cd skipping?
You mean it's not normal for the ATM to play a laugh track when it displays your balance?
I'm convinced that one day we'll look back on this and deny everything.