Cyberbilly
Instead of calling it the John, I call my bathroom the Jim. That way I can say I go to the Jim every morning.
Don't get jealous if you see your Ex with someone else. Our parents always told us to give our used toys to the less fortunate
Dave Asten
My wife and I got one of those board games for couples to spice things up. It quickly turned into a game of Sorry which led to me playing a game of Uno.
Maybe its Maybelline...or maybe its Photoshop.
Dear Axe body spray, Please put a suggested serving size on your bottles. Sincerely, choking girls everywhere
Saying "beer can" with a British accent sounds like "bacon" with a Jamaican accent.
I'm surprised people still ask me if I want to hold their baby given the number of times I've dropped and shattered my phone.