Funny Statuses

Angelina & Brad called their biological daughter Shiloh. I think we should all pray that little Shiloh Pitt is not dyslexic.
Why do hospitals need to advertise? It's not like I'm going to go to Home Depot instead.
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Cyberbilly
Did you "ask" me or "axe" me? Because seriously, one is murder.
Everyone suffering from diseases and natural disasters: hang in there, we're liking Facebook posts as fast as we can.
math always makes me want to give a blowjob to a really sharp knife
thinks it would be fun to to go to Walmart, get a football helmet, snorkel and a foam noodle, hop on a toddler bike, and joust! who's with me?????
Nothing says "Do not trust this local bank." like a man wearing a chicken suit in the commercial.
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