Amigo
Caller ID should be more detailed~ “Wants Help Moving” “Going to Whine” “Will Ask to Borrow Money
I want the job where you push scared skydivers out of planes.
Amigo
Sometimes waking up means the best part of your day is over.
Love is like Wi-Fi, you can’t see it, but you know when you’ve lost it.
Amigo
I left my phone at home all day today. Is the sky always blue like that?
Since they're loud and heavily scented already, Abercrombie & Fitch stores really are the ideal spot to go fart.
Novell
Taking back your ex is like buying your crap back from your own garage sale