If you ever buy a large TV, remember to put the box in your neighbor's trash can so they get robbed and not you.
After a heavy night's drinking, I took a bus home. That might not be a big deal to some of you, but it was the first time I'd driven one.
That's it. I'm suing Santa Claus for defamation of character. Can't call me a ho 3 times and get away with it
Some jerk parked in front of my driveway last night. So I decided to leave him a note. I didn't have a pen, so I had to use my key
Learn how to spell. Auto correct isn't always write.
Michael Mendoza
I don't think that I could ever become a murderer. I can barely stab the plastic straw in a capri-sun.
At the worst 4th of July party. Only one hot chick and a bunch of screaming kids. Oh wait, I’m at home.