Funny Statuses

An eye for an eye leaves the whole world wearing cool eye-patches.
I kept telling my mom I was going to fail my test. She told me if I had an attitude like that I would! And well, she was right, but the again, so was I.
100 calorie packs aren't so bad if you have 3 or 4 of them.
Smartphone users need to get their head out of their apps.
I use Siri so infrequently these days that when I talk to her it's noticeably awkward, like running into your ex.
I miss when the most stressful thing about my day was Gargamel.
Every fight is a food fight when you're a cannibal
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