Guys do a pretty good impression of a meerkat whenever a pretty girl walks into a crowded bar.
I was just in a store that sells hipster gear and I couldn't believe the prices. I never realized that it costs so much to look that poor.
A funeral is the only place where "I'm sorry" and "I apologize" mean two completely different things.
Twilight did to vampires what Brokeback Mountain did to cowboys.
Why aren't lawyers sworn to tell the truth along with everyone else at the proceedings?
With the amount of people who hide their identity online you'd think this place is rampant with superheroes.
Constipation and procrastination are similar. In both conditions you don't give a crap.