On the internet, you can be anything you want. It's strange that so many people choose to be stupid.
Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually repeat word for word what you shouldn't have said.
In an accident with a midget, I asked if he was okay. He said "I'm not happy" so I asked which one he was. And that's how the fight started.
We could end world hunger with the amount of crumbs that come from Nature Valley Bars.
Why are kids obese? Maybe because burgers are $.99 & salads are $4.99.
My wife's phone's space button is broken and she text me phonebrokenIwantanalternate I'm excited, but what is a ternate?
Old people talk into cell phones like they hit the Caps Lock key on their voice.