Funny Statuses

Friday is my second favorite "F" word
Facebook birthdays are a great reminder to unfriend people who's birth you could have lived without.
My life is a constant battle of preventing my muffin top from becoming a pound cake.
The search for Flight 370 was declared "the most difficult in human history". Amelia Earhart could not be reached for comment.
Thank God I was young and stupid BEFORE there were camera phones.
Spilling your drink is the adult equivalent of letting your balloon go.
I love my work, but I would also love to never have to do it again.
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