Did Bruno Mars catch that grenade? Haven't heard from him in a while...
Watching depression medication commercials makes me depressed. I'm just glad herpes commercials don't have the same effect.
I think my girlfriend's hallucinating. She keeps telling me she's seeing other people.
I can't believe it. I saw on the news where a midget got pick pocketed in broad daylight...how could anyone stoop so low?
Maybelline makes eyelashes look four times larger? Maybelline needs to start making condoms.
Austin Mulka
1. Open fridge. Nothing to eat. 2. Open cabinets. Nothing to eat. 3. Lower standards and repeat.
Drugs may lead to nowhere, but at least it's the scenic route.