Life's too short to safely remove a USB.
Marriage is saying "let me slip into something a bit more comfortable," and returning wearing sweatpants and a hoodie.
I can't imagine how long it would've taken to build the Empire State Building if videos of cats and fistfights existed back then.
Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.
Math puns are the first sine of madness.
George Washington could not tell a lie, and thus would be an abject failure in politics today.
Don't feel like typing a long response to an email? Write a short one and then add "Sent from my iPhone"