Funny Statuses

Calm down! Walmart is just asking you to wear a mask. You can still wear your pajamas and leave your bras and teeth at home.
My five year plan is to make it through this year.
As chickens are descended from dinosaurs, dinosaur-shaped chicken nuggets must be the ultimate mockery of what their lineage has become.
I switched all the labels on the Spice rack..... I'm not in trouble yet, but the thyme is cumin.
#17737
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Kristian Alekov
Whether you're a woman or a straight man, taking a bra off is likely to be one of the high points of your day.
Taco Bell is the only place where you can still get gas for $1.39.
Johnny Depp gets 15 million dollars for being with a nut job. And all these years I've been doing it for free!
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