Funny Statuses

I knew I was going bald when it took longer and longer to wash my face.
#17382
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ZYuppi
I spotted six Pokémon today but I don't have the app so I may need new meds...
#17395
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Xyuppi
I can hear music coming from my printer at work. I think the paper's jammin' again.
#17428
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Xyuppi
My mom left me a voicemail so long that I forgot it was a message and started taking to her.
#17536
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Florida
Having some states lockdown, and some states not lockdown is like having a peeing section in the pool.
#17540
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Florida
When the virus is over I still want some of you to stay away from me.
I sleep better naked, why can't the flight attendant understand this?
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