Funny Statuses

#13440
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Novell
A cactus is really just an aggressive cucumber.
How can I learn to be more patient? (I'm only interested in quick-fix solutions with immediate results please)
#13495
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Novell
There should be a calorie refund for things that didn’t taste as good as you expected.
"Lazy" is a strong word. I prefer to call it selective participation.
The time when I look the most homeless is when I’m in my home.
#13520
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Robert Zunick
Yes Officer, I carry a knife, but that’s just in case I find a cake.
Before I got married I didn't even know there was a wrong way to put the milk back in the fridge
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