Funny Statuses

#11163
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Cyberbilly
The Bachelor is the show that answers the question "How much wine do you have to drink until the guy making out with twenty different women seems like he'd make a good husband?"
#11173
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Novell
Lasagna is just spaghetti flavored cake.
#11219
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Novell
You can call someone who makes prosthetics a professional body builder
What idiot decided to call them marijuana dispensaries and not grass stations?
#12248
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Novell
You trust me holding your child? Do you know how many iPhone screens I’ve cracked?
I got married so that I can be auto-corrected even when my phone is off.
#12372
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Novell
I’m pretty sure my dogs only sit in the window and watch me leave so they know when it is safe to sit on the couch.
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