Funny Statuses

#1362
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Rec Rellim
I bet if Aquaman and Jesus had a fight, Jesus would walk all over him.
My dog ate a condom yesterday. Now try explaining THAT to the vet as it's hanging halfway out of his butt!
It's not an ABC Family show until someone gets pregnant.
Sees you when you're sleeping, knows when you're awake, knows if you've been bad or good, so set your personal Facebook info to "private".
I've been dating a homeless woman recently, and I think it's getting serious. She asked me to move out with her.
I will never understand why people get so upset at things I don’t even remember saying.
I'm not lazy, I’m energy efficient.
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