Funny Statuses

My favorite exercise is a combination of a lunge and a crunch. It's called lunch.
Just in case this flu does me in, I told the wife to tell each of the kids that I've always loved the other one more.
"That looks interesting. I think I'll eat it." - Sharks and Toddlers
#4275
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Robert Zunick
A condom and a coffin. Both are designed for stiffs. The difference is one is for coming and the other for going!
I have more conversations in my head than I do in real life.
My taste in music ranges from, "You need to listen to this" to "I know, please don't judge me."
Not all girls are made of sugar and spice and everything nice. I'm made of sarcasm, wine and everything fine.
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