The "Terms and Conditions" could hold the cure to cancer, but nobody would know, because we never read it!
A foolish man tells a woman to stop talking, but a wise man tells her that her mouth is extremely beautiful when her lips are closed
It's hard to believe the US is in that bad an economic situation when people are still buying toilet training kits for cats from SkyMall.
I've gotten the HOPELESS part down pat. Now I'm ready for the ROMANTIC phase to begin!
If I ever have kids, I'll tell them the Tooth Fairy is a mail-in operation, and then pretend to get angry when the check never arrives.
I'm not sure if I'm more of a dog-person or a cat person. But I do know I'm definitely not a people-person.
I'm not waiting for my knight in shining armor to arrive on a white charger. I'd take a squire wearing a saucepan helmet astride a donkey.