Cyberbilly
Women are like iPhones. You have to touch them all over before they respond. Men are like Blackberries, rub one ball and everything moves.
They said the world is going to end this year... Pssh They can barely predict the weather.
I hate being bipolar. It's awesome!
Walmart: "Lets buy 30 cash registers and only keep 2 open!"
Sometimes my attention span is shorter than a gold fish crackers are delicious.
If life gives you melons, you probably have dyslexia.
Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.