Cyberbilly
Scars are tattoos with better stories.
I’m a social vegan. I avoid meet.
I just lost 20 lbs. on the “I have no steady income” diet!
I'm at an age where when I see a guy with a hot body and I think, "Man, I just want to place a sleeping infant in those arms and go take a nap."
Marriage: I love you so much, I want a legal document to destroy you if you ever leave.
Amigo
The only reason women's minds are cleaner than men's is because they change them so often!
Speed bumps can turn into speed ramps depending on who's car I'm borrowing.