It's only a matter of time until Facebook adds “friend-zoned” as a relationship status.
My wife told me to grow a pear... What the fuck does fruit have to do with killing this spider?
When someone yells stop, I don't know if it is in the name of love, it's hammertime, or if I should collaborate and listen.
Pizza jokes are all about delivery.
If I worked at a pizza place I would use pepperoni to spell out "Marry me?" on pizzas all the time just to make things awkward for couples.
Leron Tonge
I got a dig bick. You this read wrong. You read that wrong too.
What do I do when I see someone extremely gorgeous? I stare, I smile, then when I get tired, I put the mirror down.