Whenever I feel intimidated by someone I imagine them drinking out of a hamster water bottle.
Cris
There's never been a lazier group of people than the ones that settled on naming a candy bar "Whatchamacallit."
The Starbucks guy just said, "Looks like you had a rough night!" I didn't even go out...
When I found out my toaster wasn't waterproof, I was shocked!
I spend too much money on food to afford any diet program...
Victoria Secret unveiled their $8,000,000 jewel encrusted bra. I just can’t get excited over any underwear with the word "encrusted" in the description.
Every pizza is a personal pizza if you eat the entire thing.