Amigo
A woman’s anger is like a check engine light; there’s no pleasant way to determine what caused it, so just ignore it and hope it goes away.
Jackamus
Let's be honest, we all have someone on Facebook we wanna bang...with a pan.
Amigo
Dear Fruity Pebbles: Calorie content w/out milk is unnecessary. Anyone shoving dry Fruity Pebbles down their throat isn’t counting calories
I think the new Transformers movie would have done a lot better if GM didn't have to recall half the Autobots.
Amigo
Before you marry a person you should first make them use a computer with slow internet to see who they really are.
Amigo
This polo shirt has two buttoning options: Uptight golf prick or disco chest hair.
Electric hand dryers are great for when you want to just give up and wipe your hands on your pants.